Some people have it naturally. But good news : it can also be learned !
Here are my 4 key recommendations you can also practice to nail it :
1 ) Focus on your counterpart’s interests Get to know their likes and dislikes. => this will help you drive more personal conversations.
2 ) Practice mirroring The goal is to keep your counterpart talking. => simply repeat what she/he says to build trust and confidence. Bonus: it will give you the ability to disagree when needed, without being disagreeable.
3 ) Then ask calibrated questions Preparation is key: have 3-5 questions to reveal value to you and your counterpart. Figure out what the other party is worried about. Use “what” and “how” questions : => How an I help to make this better for us ? => How would you like me to proceed ? => What are we trying to accomplish here ? => How can we solve this issue ?
4 ) Finally, follow-up with labelling Important to translate the emotions into words. => It seems like you are worried that … => It seems like XYZ is important to you. => It seems like you are reluctant to …
In summary, empathy is created through genuine human connections. And it just takes a few steps to practice and succeed in all of your endeavors.
If you want to learn more about these principles, I can’t recommend enough Chris Voss’s book for a deep-dive into these topics.
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